Saturday, April 02, 2005

 

All 4 Parts Of The Bulldada Of Food

Now available. And may that dead pope have mercy on your innergestion as you gorge on them photos of bad food.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

 

HELPING IVAN SELL HIS DOO-DADS SINCE 1989

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SubGenius Devival April 1, San Francisco

From Dr. Hal:

Church of the SubGenius "Post-St. Stupid's Day Parade Decompression" Concert and Party-- April 1st, April Fool's Night

at 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission St. at, or near 22nd.

Bands, Ranters and other performers highlight this Night of, dare I say it? slack. Some of the biggest Left Coast names in the Church of the SubGenius conspire to create a memorable mélange of music, mirth and mayhem.

The bill includes Rube Waddell, Fluff Grrl (Minstrels of post modern, old school rag-time), Los Banos, a.k.a. CBRB-- Cyclecide Bike Rodeo Band, unbearable, unendurable, abrasive comedian, crazy Bed Bug Eddie, the Evolution Control Committee, Master Musicians of Bukkake (Seattle's Ceremonial Music Entourage), and, going on at 12:00 Midnight, The Artists Formerly Known As "Iceman's Johnson" (AFKAIJ, pronounced "F-Cage"), a SubGenius supergroup and portmanteau potpourri fusing players from Doktors 4 "Bob" and the legendary Swinging Love Corpses: Gary G'Boagfram, Dr. Philo Drummond, Bishop Joey of the First Church of the Last Laugh, Puzzling Evidence, K-Rob, Jerry Madigan and Mike (the drummer from Santa Cruz) doing anti-music and anti-jazz swill.

Guest vocalists include Rev. Michael Peppe. I, Dr. Howland Owll, have also been asked to contribute in some unspecified capacity. Here's another piece of information that just came in-- what they're charging for this wing-ding. Just as I thought-- not enough. A mere $10 "fee" gets you in the door ($8 if in costume) and the ample booze will at least keep you hydrated. That's the beautiful 12 Galaxies Ballroom, 2565 Mission Street @ 22nd, in the lovely Mission District! Doors open 6:00 PM; show starts (with the benediction by Bishop Joey) at 7:00 PM. Note: "Adults" only-- 21 and over, please!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

 

Playin' Dodge"Bob" can WAY SUCK

I was so bleepin' glad when that Pleasure Saucer landed, but
the pilot was DRUNK or somethin' and I made out purdy good,
balancing on one knee and all but it was kinda awkward to
hump while I had to play the Cut Off My Foot With A Pleasure
Saucer Blues but it was real nice of "Bob" to grow me a new
foot but its a dinosaur thing and has CLAWS so now I can't
wear a shoe on that foot and people sure stare a lot and I
tend to walk in circles like this: k-DUN k-DUN k-DUN. Crazy
damn ol' "Bob," I sure LUV him, but, well, he's nuts.

 

The Bulldada Of Food

Part One of a collection of scanned colour plates from a 1962 cookbook still in service with my mother-in-law.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

 

SubGenius Flickr Abuse DOBBS APPROVED

Got some truly screwed-up pics? Photoshoppery that'd make the gods blush, that makes Connie spread her legs an extra half-mile, that makes "Bob"'s very pipebowl glow with preternatural light? Well, shit, what're you waiting for? SHARE.

Or what about that X-Day photos and artwork you've been sitting on? Put 'em right here.

I'll share more later. Maybe. We'll see. DOBBS I NEED FROP!!! OK OK SLACK SLACK

 

The Whole Good & Evil Thingy

At the beginning of the universe, there was a titanic struggle when god beat out the devil to become master of the universe. God then had to expend all his energy to maintain his control, leaving the devil to become strong enough to eventually overcome him, and destroy god's universe and create his own with him (the devil) in charge. God would have to go somewhere to lick his wounds and heal.

Now, this new universe would be completely evil. The devil would call himself "god", and he would declare "god" to be "the devil." Of course, all people would be evil, too, so they would do what the devil said, like calling god, still mostly out of action, "the devil."

But the evil couldn't just remain on the rudimentary level, it had to become increasingly complex over time--even to include some "good" aspects to make it all the eviller. Elements of free will would absolutely be necessary, so as to provide the option for evil humans to "fail" and become "good." And I suppose god might get a little imput, trying to corrupt the evil people into doing good things.

People might even call "evil" "good", transposing the two terms; or they might just exchange the words so that "evil" acts were called "good." Evil people would wonder why good things happen to evil people. Disgruntled teenage evil ones would act good to piss off their parents.

Eventually, the devil would expend so much energy maintaining his evil universe that god would store up enough strength to defeat him, and in a titanic struggle he would destroy the universe and create a "good" universe to replace it.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

 

Men Today

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Inadvertent Civilian Sighting Report

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Cowbob

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