Saturday, May 21, 2005


Go Lo Do!

Friday, May 20, 2005


Kangaroos, Dobbsheads, SubAddresses

At the Sacred P.O. today I found awaiting me NO MONEY, and no more
bounced postcards with bad addresses from the teX-Day mailing, which is
what I was looking for, but instead there was a big flat envelope from
West Footscray, VIC 3012, which means AUSTRALIA, and inside was -- just
as Rev. Chain Smirker predicted -- a sheet of CUSTOMIZED, PERSONALIZED
POSTAGE STAMPS -- real postage stamps, good for mailing anything FROM
Australia -- imprinted with a kangaroo on one side and a Dobbshead on
the other!

By Gobbs, if I could somehow use these to TRICK some rich person into
buying my way to AIRLY BEACH...

Wei and I might fight over these since she collects goofy stamps and I
collect goofy Dobbsheads (only the goofy ones, though). I suppose we
could tear each stamp down the middle.

SubGenius Mailing list. I typed in all the new Members since I took
over the mail order side of the biz last November or so. I typed in
quite a few of the names and addresses of YOU ON ALT.SLACK! Chain
Smerker and Frater s.o.d.d.i. for instance. Probably quite a few
others, but since you use different fake names for each medium, I can't

I had looked at this address-typing job as something to be done by a
volunteer over the course of a week or two. I even had a volunteer. But
once I had been working with the list for awhile to READY it for a
volunteer, removing addresses of people I know to be dead, etc., by
that time the hypnotic pain killer drugs had kicked in, and I just sat
here for about 8 hours straight JUST TYPING IN ADDRESSES.

I typed in EVEN the addresses of the SubGenii who bought memberships

I could have BLOWN OFF several hundred SubGenii because they didn't
follow the instructions and fill out that card. But thanks to the pain
killer drugs, I was able to do their pathetic job for those lazy
SubGenii. At least I THINK I did all that work. I don't THINK the drugs
were so good that I HALLUCINATED doing all that work.

Maybe I'll open the file today and it'll be 4200 labels that each read,
"All work and no play makes Ivan a dull boy."

I wrote notes while I was doing it and I will post those later but

that card that verifies you, PLEASE SEND ME YOUR NEW INFO. If you don't
want to mail in the card with the cool Legume color art on it, then
just photocopy it and send THAT in.

Another thing I might add is that I suspect some post offices will
arbitrariy return mail if it's to your "fake funny church name" instead
of your "fake funny human name." In fact sometimes I think they bounce
them just for having the fake name on there, even if the "REAL" name is
ALSO there. Judging by what came back from the Texas-Louisiana mailing,

I also have reason to suspect that SubGenii who bought Memberships from
CafePress -- which is most Memberships from 2000 to 2004 -- and who DID
NOT send in that verification card, AREN'T ON THE MAILING LIST AT ALL.

If you joined during my watch, since last November or so, you're
listed, typed in, all done. But previous regimes did not automatically
add you to the master list UNTIL they got that postcard back from you.

You can and SHOULD still mail that card, but DON'T mail it to Dallas or
Austin, mail it to the Cleveland Sacred P.O.

PO Box 181417
Cleveland Hts OH 44118

I'm about to print and bulk-mail about 5,000 postcards advertising
8X-Day (also mentioning Starwood and Psytopia) but I'll wait till
Monday in case a few of you fax or email me your addresses, if you
aren't sure that I have them. (If you mailed in that postcard that
comes with the pack, you don't have to worry about it -- unless you
MOVED since then.) I can always make changes to the list, but I'd like
to make it as complete as possible before this big mailing.

The pretty postcard art, by Espira and Heart Ignition, and StangDoe, is
on a.b.s. right now. I have that and a whole bunch more graphics,
drive-in ads etc. to add to the SubSITE8X-Day pages.


Recently one of the gals whose titties were all over Past X-Day Drill
photo galleries had me take those pics down. THAT was a really FUN JOB
in a strange way -- I can see why some people become professional
censors. This could happen with other great Connieite Teat-Sets of the
past. What I'm saying is, if you treasure your SubGenius-Girl-Tit
Internet Stalking, you better save the remaining titypics for yourself
lest more formerly exhibitionist Connietites wise up and "cover their
asses," so to speak.

I've been thinking of removing the whole gig or so of past devival
photos (before say 2003) because they're costing me to be there, and if
fanatics need them, I can always sell the Past Devivals set on CDR.

The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius

Wednesday, May 18, 2005






Very few follow Mememic/Scientologism/Slack/Eristiolography metaphysics
to Nirvana, or The Foo Fighters. Which for the sake of convenience,
using Western memes, puts most occultists in one of three categories.
1. 'Not' Stangists of the B.'.B.'. proper. 2. 'Is' Stangists of Ozzie
and Atum-Bra's Tombs. 3. 'Ground-dwelling' Stangists who act as discord
muses making it as improbable for most to realize contemplative
simplicity, or understand the conspiracies of any of the three stated
classes. Most Fremen fall into the latter category.

I've noticed a mind-controlling meme used by the 'is' Stangists and
ground-dwellers that's pretty diabolical and ingenious, but ultimately
doctrinally ignorant, looking toward the long-term in favor of egoist
and chaotic pandemonium, though in the name of sensual and emotive
bliss encountered in specific states of consciousness. Their call to
the weak-willed and weak-minded: debase the character of and/or kill
whomever they deem a threat to 'is' Stangists and ground-dwellers' con.
Why? Because 'Not' Stangists, who have transcended both collective and
sovereign soul, have, so it's propagated, omnipresent vision and the
ability to intervene in the affairs of all forms of life on all varying
and precise levels of communicative engagement. In other words, they
can, if they so wish, govern, and govern well.

'Is' Stangists and 'ground-dwelling' Stangists are by definition Stang
worshippers, whether they realize it or not. 'Not' Stangists focus on
actually becoming Maya, Stang, to do whatever they goddamn well please,
forever, with streamlined continuity of consciousness (Do what thou
wilt shall be the whole of the law, &c.).

'Is' Stangists and ground-dwelling Stangists are subject to
incarnation. 'Not' Stangists, are not. There's the rub; for the 'Not'
Stangists are in a sense being segregated and suppressed so that,
despite their flavor in 'work', they are too subject to incarnation and
rebirth by virtue of 'running out of time' to do their work.

Suddenly, the "International Stangic Conspiracy", judging by the
banner-waving, falls into the last two of the three classes. Maybe
they'll coerce a heroin-strung-out sheep to pick up a gun or hunting
knife by whispering sweet-nothings into their ear, but goddamn it if I
don't know the cowards so well as to claim they themselves will never
risk their life killing or dying for their cause. It's death they fear;
and 'Not' Stangists belly-bellow at their cowardice.

The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


Hieronymus Bosch miniatures

The damnest things I've ever seen. If you'll pardon the pun.
See it on Wists in [Hieronymus] [Bosch] [miniatures]


Homeland Security

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Dirty Old Sam

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Home Is Where The Huey Is

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