Thursday, July 07, 2005
Report from the secret Arizona X-Day drill.
High atop pterodactyl mesa, in Schwinesgaden Casita, Amway, Arizona. July 4th-5th.
As usual, there were no survivors.
The theme of this years' successful attempt to receive Slack, gifts and goodies from the Xists in lieu of xport, was "Tiki".
This was because we were able to obtain an inflatable, 4-foot-tall Tiki Totem pole, used as the central icon of our profane ceremonies.
Other decor included the 10x10 gazebo, tiki torches, pink flamingo Xistmas lights, new BBQ grill, biting winged red ants, and Church flags/swizzle sticks.
The banquet included Big Kahuna burgers, teriyaki marinaded hamburgers with provolone cheese, grilled pineapple, sliced tomato and purple onion, with Big
Kahuna sauce. Boca burgers were substituted for the vegetarians.
Other stuff: various chips & dips, tropical banana bread w/Macadamia nuts & fruits, apple pie, watermelon, key lime squares, chili, tons o' cookies, assorted tropical drinks, and, of course, 'Frop.
The ants were given dried grits, to suck the moisture out of their little bodies. Though whether or not this worked is unknown, as they were mysteriously taken up into the Xist ships before they took off.
All told, several attendees were probably convinced to becomeSubGenius Reverends.
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs made a brief appearance on the morning of the 5th, but nobody was up yet, so he left a generic post-it on the door. No message, just a post-it. We
chopped it up and ate it like blotter, but it just tasted ucky.
No photographic or sound recording was made by us, so the official government surveillance is the only "official" record. Arresting us will do no good, however, as all our fingerprints have mysteriously changed.
Rants were ranted. Lies were bragged. Virgins were re-flowered. Sickenings were promulgated. Big Kahuna burgers were gobbled. Church videos were watched.
I'm friggin' pooped.