Thursday, February 23, 2006


Lounge Music Video 11.3Mb And Worth It

Click here to watch 'Lounge-Music70'

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


"Bob's" Most Dutiful Servants in Desperate Straits -- You Can Help

A few years ago, the Bevilacqua family (Rev. Magdalen & Jesus) literally kept The SubGenius Foundation from folding up and vanishing. I had been trying to keep the little business together practically on my own, but it had become a gigantic drain on me personally and financially. Jesus saw potential in it, though, and convinced me not to give up -- BY MOVING TO DALLAS TO HELP FULL TIME. (To this day, Jesus and Magdalen remain the only other SubGeniuses besides myself to LITERALLY repent, quit their jobs and "slack off" in this manner.) By 1998, when Jesus and Magdalen married, the Foundation income had tripled, and not only did we have salaries, but we were able to hire more part time help (Rev. Nickie Deathchick in addition to Will O'Dobbs).

The existing custody case over Magdalen's son, however, created huge legal bills that eventually required Jesus to take a higher-paying job for The Conspiracy. At that point, it was Rev. Magdalen who stepped in and kept the practical, day-to-day, unglamorous aspects of the little biz going. She was doing it basically without pay, too.

When Jesus' job suddenly took the whole family to Austin, Texas and then to Colombus, Georgia, it became obvious that The SubGenius Foundation's Sacred P.O. Box and mail order biz could not continue to jump from city to city, so I took over the whole shebang again. Thanks to the countless ways in which Jesus and Magdalen had streamlined the business, it's become vastly less time-consuming, taking me maybe an hour a day.

Were it not for this family, there'd be no SubSITE any more, HOUR OF SLACK would have ended, I wouldn't be working on a new book and REV-X reprint, etc. etc.



For Magdalen and Jesus, a parent's NEXT-TO-WORST NIGHTMARE is taking place in real life, and one reason this injustice is happening is due to, not the Church of the SubGenius, but dumbass misunderstandings of it (and probably pretty much everything else Slackful). Also, if you ask me, on a monstrous misunderstanding of what "freedom" in America is supposed to mean.

I raised two children. I cannot imagine how this must feel. I HAVE had to TRY to imagine it, but, praise Dobbs, that's all I've had to do. I speak to Magdalen on the phone fairly often and she's holding up, amazingly. She's fighting instead of sinking into despair, which, believe me, would be VERY tempting.

This is our chance as a bunch of weirdos to pay back a family of weirdos who have, for YEARS, done the DIRTIEST JOB OF THE CHURCH -- being the interface between it and the Con, on a daily basis.

SubGenius Foundation mail order is doing fine this month. We got several new subscribers to Hour of Slack and a big donation from one of the best guitar players in the world. I got a new book contract and the check is in the mail. So DON'T BUY ANY SUBGENIUS SHIT THIS MONTH! Send your checks or Paypal funds to Magdalen instead, and next time you download an Hour of Slack or SubVid for free, or browse through the Art Mines (which I WILL update, I SWEAR!!), consider it bought with a Love Offering.

That's what this is. A Love Offering. MAGS NEEDS $LACK.

More than that, most important of all, eclipsing any other bullshit I could possibly say, CONBO* NEEDS HIS MOM.

THE STORY and donations links, info:

* Think "MarJoe"

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Aim For The Neuts

Click here to watch 'Machine-Gun-Granny'



MIKE BURNS HITS REPLY TO: The 'Bla Bla Bla' E-Mail Heard Around the World

Angry Would-Be Employer Sends Lawyer's Message Far and Wide


(Feb. 19) - Two weeks ago, newly minted young Boston attorney Dianna Abdala e-mailed a prospective employer, William Korman.

"The pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living," she wrote, turning down his job offer.

Korman was not happy.

"You had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date)."

He'd already ordered her stationery and business cards, and set up her office computer and was amazed she conveyed her second thoughts by e-mail.

"It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional," he wrote.

Abdala's response? "A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so," she wrote.

"This is a very small legal community," Korman responded. "Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?"

Abdala finally answered, "Bla bla bla."

An ordinary office spat? Nope. Korman forwarded the exchange to a friend … and it spread throughout the Boston legal community -- and then to the Boston Globe, to the International Herald Tribune, to ABC News' "Nightline."

It was the "bla bla bla" heard round the world -- making Abdala the most famous, perhaps notorious, 24-year-old lawyer in America.

E-Mail Gaffes

E-mail never has been more immediate, intimate and indelible -- whether FEMA director Michael Brown's e-mail jokes during Hurricane Katrina about being "a fashion god"; or disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff e-mailing about his clients, "These mofos are the stupidest idiots in the land"; or the executive of the drug company that made the banned weight-loss treatment Phen-Fen e-mailing, "Do I have to look forward to spending my waning years writing checks to fat people worried about a silly lung problem?"

Earlier this week in congressional hearings about Katrina, it came out that neither Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff nor Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld use email.

Our first response? Smart men.

from AOL blog 02/19/06

Rev. Dr. Mike Burns, thewaymouth blowhole's first response?

They are two of the biggest liars in the most corrupt, evil empire in American history, so of course they don't use email. Like a slime they leave a blood and shit trail wherever they go as it is, you think they want a toilet paper trail?

Cheney didn't report a shooting of a fellow human being to authorities for 14 hours, and got away with it. He's the Teflon Don of the blackest white house ever and aims to stay that way. Chertoff's Gitmo has been condemned by the UN. But the US doesn't care. We don't believe in the Geneva Convention. We don't do body counts.

You think the devil uses email?

This devil does. I've got nothing to hide, no skeletons in the closet, no bodies buried in a secret hole, no prisoners with bags over their heads.

Bring it on! Scrutinize me all you want. Sniff my dirty sheets -- I leave 'em out there waving like the burning, stinking rags of the once great US flag, now pissing itself in the whirlwind.

There's beauty in truth and it's the highest beauty there is. I say, "Fuck you, I love you, America!" to one and all, and if you don't like it go ahead, make my day.

Besides, I need the readers. I want the audience. I'm sex-starved and intellect-starved for attention.

Meat on the table time. Come and get it. Walk right in, sit right down, daddy let your long hair down... cause I'm not giving in an inch to fear.

So line up and lie down. This ain't gonna hurt a bit. Just look up, open wide and say cheese, please, cause papa's not sitting on it, Patsie. My lips aren't sealed. I got a brand new bag of buffalo chips, a whole squat load of truth coming down the chute.

Oh, and I got my slingshot, forget-me-not buckshot right here, Big Bother. I wanna riot. I want to take your spying eyes out. I want you for target practice. The buckshot stops here to support the troops with fresh quail meat for a fistful of barrels of oil. Go fuck yourself or I'll shoot you in the face.

Then I want to see Gitmo. I want room 101. What are you waiting for? Chickenhawk chickenshits!

It''s easy for people to get the wrong ideas about what people say in emails and on the streets because this country is running stupid, scared and blind. We don't have open minds, in fact, we have no minds at all. We are like sheep. "Bah bah bah." How else do you explain Dupeya?


I want as many interpretations as there are readers. I want people to get in on my funhouse/hauntedhill joyride. I want riots in the streets because of me.

Hell, I need to start to cartooning Muhammad. I say if his followers can't stand the heat, get off the earth. Come blow my house down all you wild on's.

I'd list my address right here but I know Big Brother AOL would clip it, if you get to see this thread at all. They have withheld many of my blogs from public sight and site because they live, operate and make money off fear.

Ah, what the hell. You only go unemployed and get tortured and die once:

Michael Burwell, 26 Greentree Ln Apt # 35 Weymouth, MA 02190-2007 USA 781-331-9837

But obviously this woman does not fear any man. She has cajones, macho mucho grande caliende.

She's my kind of American woman. She's hot, young, educated.

An Arab woman who instead of burning a flag, she speaks her mind, and damn the consequences.

She may have burned a few bridges but now she has a name for herself now. She can start her own firm:

Smart women with smart mouths up against the old fat cats.

She's gonna make it, after all.

It's women like her who give me hope for this country. I say let's amend the constitution right now, before it's banned, because I can't wait any longer.

Dianna Abdala for president!

She rocks my world.


BTW, the above rant is the uncensored AOL blog version. There were no curse words and addresses listed in my original AOL blog. But Big Brother AOL HELL still deleted it. Censorshits!


Peace, love and lohanarchy.

Mike Burns has left the burning building...

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