Saturday, May 06, 2006
Thursday, May 04, 2006
And so it was and so it shall be by none other than the way of thewaymouth blowhole, Church of the SubGenius Rev. Dr. Mike Burns thus ignites the festivals of fire and hereby announces, that here she is, all the way from Bolton, up Canada way, the official new...
There is a town in north Ontario, stream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind I still need a place to go, all my changes were there......
Drivin in my car, livin' like a star.
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus...
...Number 1 in the hood, G...
The new May Queen, The Sweet One, The Singer of the Song "Number One," turns One-Eight this week.
...I'm eighteen and I LIKE IT
Yes I like it/Oh I like it/Love it/Like it/Love it/Eighteen!/Eighteen!/Eighteen!Eighteen and
I LIKE IT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 1.
18 this Friday...the fifth day of the first week of the fifth month...05/05.
Everything in the universe relates to the number 5, one way or another, given enough ingenuity on the part of the interpreter.
The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from the Hidden Temple of the Happy Jesus, for happy twas he to be forever shut away in the tomb at long last down off that damn cross already.
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO FIVE. The Law of Fives is never wrong.
"As she talks, her lips breathe spring roses:
I was Chloris, who am now called Eris, who Goddess damn I am now SuperFly Skye
is The Limit."
THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)
KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and know that She is Your Rock Goddess. There is no limit to Skye's the limit. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement for the Movement of all that is Skye's the limit. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm. There's gold in them there records.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub...that not everyone found abode in the Skye high odes to joy off easily the best debut album ever from a rocker so young and able was a murder most cain and thus must the world come and adore her future divinyl laid upon their turntable for the new Barbie in combat boots will kick theirs asses and they will like it...
V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.
IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.
The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS
HAIL ERIS! --><-- KALLISTI --><-- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
THE SKYE IS FALLING --><-- LIKE A NEEDLE DROPPING THE F BOMB --><-- ONLY THEN THE SKYE IS RISING --><-- LIKE PIE IN THE SKYE BYE & BYE WHEN YOU DIE & I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM FOR SKYE'S SCREAM!
Dedicated to the Prettiest One
If you want in on the Discordian Society
then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like
and tell us about it
or if you prefer, don't.
There are no rules anywhere.
The Goddess Skye Sweetnam Prevails Over All The Earth Below.
Else the Skye will fall when the winds get heavy hitting on all ye chicks li'l running with your heads cut off when the levee breaks her brand spanking new album in august fashion late this summer *toes crossed (but on the cross no more)* but on the bad boys get spanked Coalition of the Willing to do the Drilling in the Killing WTC Fields. I can't wait till all our brains are sunburst & sundrenched & sunwiped clean forever by the daughter of the rosy-fingered dawn after the flood finally clears all the brush from America's disgrace. If there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May Queen.
All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
Curb Your Dogma.
The Enlightened take things Lightly.
Except when they take things with Holly Golightly cream and Skye Sweetnam sugar. Here we are dead serious about being utterly mad for them.
Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why
’scuse me while I kiss this Skye.
The King is Dead. Long Love The Queen!
Mike Burns has left the building burning...