Saturday, March 10, 2007


IMPORTANT: Rev. Magdalen Child Custody Case -- Donations Needed!

I only send out bulk news releases like this when I feel it's IMPORTANT news for SubGenii. I don't want you to come to regard it as spam. So I'll go straight to the point, which may seem spamlike at first. Jesus and Magdalen Bevilacqua still need money -- $2,000 to be exact -- and you can contribute funds to their SubGenius child custody case now via this PayPal link:

Paypal donations can still be sent to

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857

If this is your first News email from the Church of the SubGenius, you might not be familiar with the tragic situation of Rev. Magdalen "Rachel" and Rev. Jesus "Steve" Bevilacqua, whose child was taken from them by a New York state family judge -- BECAUSE THEY ARE SUBGENIUSES.

I know this sounds ridiculous, and insane, like a made-up SubGenius prank, but if you suspect it might be one (HOW I WISH IT WERE!), here are links to newspaper and encyclopedia articles about it:

WIKIPEDIA News article about it

This feisty weekly from the Rochester area, The Beast, has the most scathing of many good articles about the case:

An excellent, somewhat more recent article is in the Cleveland Free Times:

Modemac's wikipedia page has the most detailed history of the case, with much more recent details, as well as the most complete collection of links:

You can find the various judges' actual comments there… to me, those are the most horrifying documents in the whole story. Obviously, what made the Salem Witch Hunts possible is still alive in New England.

To make a long story short, recently, after a very prolonged and difficult struggle, Rev. Magdalen won back custody of her child… only to have it again denied BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN SEE HIM by an "emergency stay order." This means that now the case must go to a higher court -- which is good, because it will be FIVE judges who aren't just yokels from that same small town, who managed to get themselves elected as family court judges. There is a good chance that, when the case is seen by educated people, Magdalen will regain full custody of her son.

One of the nightmarish aspects of this, however, is that, because the biological father supposedly has "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome," he has never had to work and is a trailer-court welfare case. This means that the state pays for his lawyers! But because the Bevilacquas each work the equivalent of two jobs, they have to PAY for their lawyers.

And they have to pay a new, DIFFERENT lawyer to handle the higher appellate court case.

From Rev. Magdalen:

"Basically, although I did win the case, it's now going to appeal. Orleans County has, of course, offered to pay all the expenses for my ex's appeals case, while I still have to pay for my appellate lawyers, which it turns out are different from regular lawyers and require a new $10,000 retainer to hire. I'll still be represented by the same firm, Lipsitz, Green, Scime, Cambria, but a different individual will be handling the case.

"We go before the Fourth Circuit Appellate Division on June 2, and then they will make their decision within 30 days of that. I am cross-appealing to ask that the parts of the decision forbidding me to make or keep SubGenius art inside my home, travel with my husband for his job, and homeschool my son, be struck down. Until then, my son has to stay with my ex, though I am supposed to get "extended visitation." So far, I have not yet been able to actually access that extended visitation, as my ex says it will take a court order in writing to make him comply, and all we have is a verbal order. I hope that will be straightened out soon.

"In the meantime, I'm getting some desperately-needed R&R with my husband, as my mother-in-law generously gave me a ticket to come see him in England, where he's been sent for work. I'll be here in the UK for the next three weeks, then back to the daily grind in New York, waiting in place for the decision to come through and trying to spend as much time as I can with my son.

"There was an incident that occurred during that brief day when I had won the case, but the appeal had not yet gone through, that is very hard for me to write about. The principal of my son's school, Mr. P_____, actually disobeyed my written and verbal instructions to keep my son at school so I could pick him up and have at least one night with him before the appeal was filed. Instead, Mr. P____, knowing I was literally on the way to get my son from his school, deliberately released my son to my ex, so when I got there he was gone. My ex took my son and disappeared with him that whole night, not returning my son until the appeal went through. I called my ex and begged him over cell phone to tell me at least where my son was, if he was still in the state or the country, or what, and he just laughed and said that I would never find them.

"It was the most horrible night of my life, and it was made so much worse by knowing that this did not have to happen, but Mr. P_____, who had been a witness in the case and was fully aware of the vicious hostility involved, chose to pick one parent over the other, directly in contradiction to the written order that I had sent him a copy of. I don't know what to make of it. I contacted the superintendent of Lyndonville Central Schools, and she refused to take any disciplinary action against Mr. P_____. My lawyer, Mr. Mattingly, is preparing a case for bringing charges against Mr. P_____, so I will update you all again when I know more about that. I know a lot of you are going through your own custody issues, so I thought you might like to know that this kind of flagrant abuse can happen—your children might not be as safe at school as you think they are.

"Anyway, that's about it for me, I hope all is well with all of you! My finances are still in extremely dire straits—I am $2,000 short of the retainer fee I need to proceed with my appellate lawyer, even after my father lent me his entire life savings as collateral on a loan, so if anyone feels motivated and has some extra cash, it would be so very much appreciated. Thank you all so much for everything, all your concern and support really has made the difference. I would have given up long ago and just spiraled into a fog of despair without all of you, so thank you, thank you, I can never thank you enough."


Magdalen added this in a personal letter to me:

"The appellate lawyer says he’s working on the case already as a courtesy, but he wants his retainer ASAP. I just don’t have it, and I can’t get it. My parents already shot their entire savings and maxed out their credit, and Steve and I did too, and now there’s nothing left for it but to beg the Internets and see if anyone would be willing to help out again, though I’m sure they’re sick of me whining.

"So far, this whole thing has cost us $73,000, and this new $10,000 charge on top of that is just the retainer, I’m sure the appellate lawyer will spend that all in no time and send me more bills as we get closer to June 2. So anyway, I was wondering if you could put out another email plea for money.

"…So hopefully, the appeals court will straighten everything out, give me back my boy, and set me free to go roam the earth with my husband and make whatever art I choose, as is my right as an American! But then, after following the Anna Nicole saga and seeing the way they treated her, I still don’t have a lot of confidence in the American legal system. I wish some of the candidates would make reforming it their hot-button issue!"


Rachel Bevilacqua

Finally, check out this mp3 audio clip from a national so-called "Christian" radio talk show: host Bob Larsen slandering people he knows NOTHING about:

Paypal donations can still be sent to

Checks or other payments can be mailed to the attention of:
Rachel Bevilacqua
c/o Christopher S. Mattingly
Lipsitz Green LLP
42 Delaware Avenue
Suite 300
Buffalo, New York 14202-3857

THE WHY A GOAT? SHIRT: The brave and hardy administrators of Taphouse IRC (the official IRC network of the Church of the SubGenius) have begun a fundraiser for Magdalen's legal fund, by producing T-shirts with a goat head logo and the quote "Why a goat?" (as was repeatedly asked by the original judge in this case). These shirts are being sold for $20, of which $8.10 of every sale will go directly to her legal fund. All help is appreciated, and every little bit helps. The URL for the fund-raiser is:

I promise the next report, which will come soon, will have lots of FUN news and reviews, and links to vast endless hours of SubGenius media Slack.

Friday, March 09, 2007


Major WTF

Hosted on Flurl Video Search - Watch More Videos

Thursday, March 08, 2007


A desktop screenshot someone should have censored a bit

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


"Bob's" Lunch Hour

Tuesday, March 06, 2007



Monday, March 05, 2007


Hillary Is Watching You

Sunday, March 04, 2007


Almost Got Her, Too

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