Monday, September 17, 2012

 

Churchly News - September 2012

SubGenius Cult Management/History Course -- Starts Oct. 1 at MaybeLogic Academy

Strictly online! No need to show up on campus, as there is no campus. Runs for 6 weeks. It's okay to join late.

For your $120 you get about $1200 worth of SubGenius media downloads -- hundreds of hours of SubGenius audio and video available nowhere else, plus much of the media sold in our catalog, as well as thousands of pages of graphics (scans of old Stark Fists, Quijibos, comics, artwork, news reports, interviews, photos, letters from the famous and the infamous, original cult-building notes) and a book-length detailed description of damn near everything that happened in Church of the SubGenius that I, Stang, know of. We're even including the PDF of our book, PSYCHLOPAEDIA OF SLACK, which is now otherwise out of print. Several live chat lessons per week will be held for those who would like to "jam" with us or who have specific questions. Other Church Elders helping this year include Dr. Philo Drummond, Dr. G. Gordon Gordon and Uncle Onan Canobite. It's very loose; you don't have to participate but can simply lurk and download if you choose. (The downloadable media fills 3 to 4 DVD-Rs.) This is the fifth but possibly the last year we will offer this class.



15X-Day -- A True Rehearsal for the End of the World

Just before the 15X-Day Drill started at Wisteria campground in Southern Ohio, a devastating storm struck the area and turned all the surrounding cities into disaster areas -- EXCEPT WISTERIA! That campground full of SubGeniuses, alone, continued to have power, water and ice. Those who stayed home in places like Columbus sweltered in the heat with no Internet, while at the campground the show went on and we got many hours of recordings of great rants, bands, live radio shows, Bobtisms, topless pillow fights etc., currently being heard on many recent Hours of Slack: http://www.subgenius.com/ts/hos.html

The attendees posted their reports and photos on various SubG Facebook pages; we collected many of the best NSFW photos and stashed them here: http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/15XDay/15X-Day.html
Note also the links to numerous amusing new videos by Dr. Legume.

Attendance was up slightly from last year, with a lot of new younger SubGenii as well as Church Elders such as Dr. Philo Drummond, Dr. G. Gordon Gordon, Dr. Hal and Papa Joe Mama. Two legal (and yet romantic!) weddings were conducted, as well as the traditional Burning of "Bob" and the July 5 7 a.m. Saucer-Awaiting. As usual, much new swag was generated for the event, still available from our CafePress SubStore: http://www.cafepress.com/subgen/188969


SUBGENIUS WIKIA

Our friend General Public has been busting ass assembling this online encyclopedia of all things SubGenius. It's not always doctrinal and is chock full of funny lies and horrible jokes, but it's still more accurate than most descriptions of the Church. The graphics are very carefully selected and there are many links to some of the best SubGenius videos and websites. It's open to contributors, and like Wikipedia itself is potentially a bottomless pit. Highly recommended for those eager for more inside dirt on SubGenius.


Stang interviewed in New World Manifesto Documentary

"I Moan TAYVAY!" Some nice multinational young people driving a school bus full of video equipment stopped by The Slackermansion in Cleveland Heights as part of their USA -wide documentary project called "New World Manifesto." For once my crediting of Dr. Drummond was included! They did a good job of culling 10 minutes from 2 hours. Their website includes many other videos from their travels as well.


Slack Hole 2.0, Other Major SubGenius Facebook Pages

The Slack Hole was probably the most entertaining of the SubGenius Facebook pages, but Facebook caught it being naughty and took it away. Luckily, it rebounded as the new and improved SLACK HOLE 2.0

The most-"liked" SubFace page is the OFFICIAL (among many fakes) Church of the SubGenius page:

and another official one is The SubGenius Foundation:

A kind of "High Weirdness," mostly reporting on the dumbest in human behavior, is SUBGENIUS OF THE DAY:


Some Interesting Recent SubGenius-Related Links

10 Extremely Weird Religions:

HIGH WEIRDNESS BY MAIL update

Hour of Slack listener? You might want to fill out this survey:

The STARK FIST DAILY

Oldie but Goodie: SubGenius Comics


The "Stang Retired" Hoax

Just to tease some chronic haters, we announced in our main Members-Only forum, ScrubGenius, and in a couple of Church Facebook pages, that I, Rev. Stang, had retired and put the widely feared (yet also widely imitated) Dr. K'taden Legume in charge of the Church. Much to our surprise, not only did a lot of SubGeniuses fall for it, but it made the news despite its absurd wording. Our immediate confession did NOT make the news, which figures. I'm not retired. I probably CAN'T retire unless "Bob" orders it.


Dorkus!

Reminder: My radio spoutin' buddy and prayer partner Lonesome Cowboy Dave, with his friend Wes Jenkins, has published a new book of humorous bulldada:

DORKUS AND THE AFFAIRS OF LORD WILLING

ENDLESS YARNS! GRIPPING GRAPHICS! ! TITILLATING TINTYPES!

Set in the heart of the Brutish Empire and the uncivil belly of Merika of the 1860's, this is a bumpy tale of a twisted aristocrat who is conducting sovereign-sanctioned ergot
experiments on his entourage, who in turn are controlled by dark and
fatuous forces. Dickens meets Jules Verne in Dada soaked Victoriana.


Donations -- THANK YOU!

When we revealed last year that we sometimes struggle financially to keep all the Church outlets open and functioning, many people, many of them strangers, heeded the call and donated to the Church or Hour of Slack. I cannot express how much that meant to us. It certainly helps morale as well as keeping the Church afloat. In a few cases the amounts caused our hearts to soar like a hawk, but even more inspiring are the NUMBERS of people who chose to help out, even with a buck here and there. Those contributions are as important as the graphic, audio and SHEER GUT BLOW-OUT contributions from the great blabbermouths, musicians and artists of the Church. It makes the constant effort FEEL worthwhile. It brings actual Slack. Hopefully our continued work on the radio show and the various web outlets demonstrates that Slack, and, hopefully, spreads it around like Golden Manure.


SubGenius Books Gradually Going Out of Print

Right now we have a nice supply of THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and REVELATION X. BOOK is now an ebook as well and might not survive much longer as a physical book. REVELATION X isn't even an ebook and may well soon go the way of THE BOBLIOGRAPHON, HIGH WEIRDNESS BY MAIL and THREE-FISTED TALES OF "BOB". All copies we sell are autographed. Get 'em while you can.


New Dr. Seuss Readings 4 Xmas

Princess Wei and I scored two more Dr. Seuss books for our grandboys, so we each read one into the magic Zafodian location recorder. I did the one with the monsters and Wei did the sweet one.BTW when we say "I love you" at the end we mean our grandkids, not YOU.
If I Ran the Zoo

Horton Hatches the Egg


Latest BugPorn blog on Raw Story, BugPorn YouTubes

In truth this (like most of what I send Raw Story) is old. I have been playing with microscopes, cameras and hideous animalcules for a couple of years now. Just before 15X-Day I whip-edited several new short videos. Probably not for everybody. They have nothing to do with the Church of the SubGenius really. Below is a representative sampling.

MicroBugPorn 2012, #5: DARK ORGY

The good Rev. Zafod donated a new microscope with a built-in digital video camera, and although it's not the highest-resolution on the planet, it's sure a lot less shaky than holding a camera against an eyepiece. This one, with music by Rev. Two Beans, is my favorite, because it is really pretty gross. As the water drop dries up, the Philodina rotifers from my birdbath get crowded closer and closer together. The final shot shows a rotifer munching out inside the EYE of a mosquito larva. Hot action! A couple of Cladocerans or "water fleas" are shown at the beginning, one with diarrhea and the other afflicted with parasites. This is probably the grossest of the series. The funny thing is, billions of much uglier creatures live in your mouth and your hair follicles -- not to mention your intestines. Praise "Bob"!

MicroBugPorn #2: HARDCORE
Not for children or the easily influenced. All of the physical acts shown are real. No special effects were used.

MicroBugPorn 2012, #6: GrossOut
This one stars a Stylonychia and, at the end, a really large and unusually Lava-Lite-like amoeba. There many other "bit parts" as well, and a cast of untold thousands of bacteria -- although they appear only as little dots in the murk. Princess Wei claims that the images, combined with Rev. Just John's "Gastrik Bop" music, will sicken the more delicate ladies. We can only hope!

MicroBugPorn 2012, #4: Swallowing
This one features many microbes and worse things cavorting to a classic '70s-porn musical track, but the highlights are extremely close shots of Philodina rotifers sucking food-beings into their gullet-holes. Since they're partially transparent, you can see their throat-jaws (the "mastax") grinding up the little wads of algae. Also clearly visible is the glue-emitting two-toed "foot" of the Philodina, a bodily organ shared, like the rotary mouth-cilia, by all rotifers, however drastically different they all look from species to species.

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